Joke Duelists Gifts

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

After the gun ban, the guys still liked to go out and horse around on weekends.

Duel in a wheelchair.

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'My husband wants to know if the sonogram can tell if the baby is a Red Sox or Yankees fan.'

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

Karate.

"Try taking up something you can do together… like fencing."

'Best friend? I hardly know the man!'

"Can I borrow this or are you going somewhere?"

The New Greek Crisis

Dodge Ball City.

'Best way I know to decide who gets the research position.'

"We should settle this in the kitchen."

In this hot new video game, players battle to the death to reach the last copy of this hot new video game.

Sword Fight

"You have defamed me, sir. I challenge you to a cage fight in Las Vegas!"

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us."

"Yeah. I called you a low-down, yellow-bellied polecat. But I didn't mean to hit send."

'Howitzers at dawn.'

Ok, ok, if that's what you need to meet your daily goal, we can do 21 paces instead.

"The next speaker needs an introduction but won't get it from me!"

'The guy on the right seems pretty confident.'

'Toupee !!'

Poets Arguing

At the international middle-weight dissing championships.

The way leaf blowers settle their differences. . .

You're going down today, sucker. Bring it on! Get a load of this $85.45. Wow. Impressive. Told you. Not so fast. $93.60? Now that's an expensive tank of gas. Humbled. I play to win. We cope in the oddest ways. House of Java.net Cybercafe.