Joining A Christmas Savings Club Pillows

'You want to join our Christmas Club? -- I'll have to see your baptismal certificate.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Sue the Author 3PM

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

"You'll never believe who's here."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

Advent Calender.

Gentleman's Club Scene

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

The discovery of a 51st shade of grey was met with mixed reviews.

Meet The Ghostwriter

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

James Joyce

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'I had a dream that Oprah is going to recommend your book!'

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."