Jogging Junkie Pillows

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'Good news, I hear you've lost two inches.'

Running to lose weight,

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'

'If I hadn't forgotten to put in my teeth this morning I'd whistle!'

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

Teddy jogging

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Jogging...

"They say jogging is the top sport today..."

Treadmillstone

Running

Dexy's Midnight Run

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

7 brownies worth of exercise.

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"Yeah, you were right! The indoor wheel is fun, but running in the park is a lot better..."

"I hate this time of year."

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Fast Food Dieter

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

Health

'Are we having fun yet?'

Apocalliptical

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"