Jocular Medic Pillows

'Silicone implant ward.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Little help?"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'All of your references say you play well with others, but there's nothing in here about you actually doing any work.'

'Now watch our sales increase.'

OMG.

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Poisson d'Avril!

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

Optometrist Humor

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."