Job Talk Connoisseur Pillows

Irish Bricklayer

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Trappist talk show.

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

"You do something about Human Rights and trade or...or....or..."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

Silly News.

'What went particularly well?'

'I'm an equal opportunities employer, Mr Moore, but I would expect you to shave before an interview.'

'I admire how you don't take no for an answer, but I'm afraid I'm calling Security.'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'This is our real-time chat room.'