Job Starter Gifts

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

"So...do you have a job now?"

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

The First Day Back

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"On. More. Try."

"I'm feeling quite generous today, so what do you say we all go out to lunch huh? Dawson's treat."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

'My assistant will show you the ropes.'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

Personnel: 'We're hoping to find someone who can help us turn things around.'

'He made me jump through hoops, but I got the job...'

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"Well, there goes summer..."

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

"Stick your head out the window, davenport, and see way the wind is blowing.''

Come Back Sloane