Job Perk Analyst T-Shirts

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'These are job perks.'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Perks

Charity Shop Income on Rise

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

"The great resignation is being fueled by the desire to brag about quitting one's job on LinkedIn."

'Believe me, mister... I'm an old hand in capital procurement!'

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

'...plus, an annual molting leave!'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

"Remind me, Simpkins. Did I fire you or not?"

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

"You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome abroad, Barnes."

'The firm provides every new executive with a personal trainer.'

May I have your frequent flier points and corporate parking space, sir?

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

'The good news is that our latest campaign has MASSIVELY improved understanding of the job status and prospects.'

'Why, there isn't even a company folder for 'Perks'!'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"We demand so many non-compete agreements, you'll have to find work on Mars if you quit us."

"I couldn't get you a raise but I did get you a taller chair."

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

"...and, as well as your salary, you will be eligible for company transport - a pair of our latest running shoes."

'Apart from skills, talent, qualifications, good looks, good health, ambitious drive and willingness to work for free, what else do you bring to the table?'