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'Right, we've worked out your work skills.'

The Three Wise Queens

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake. I just came out of hibernation."

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'What went particularly well?'

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

"Why did you turn down the Easter bunny job?"

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

"On your resume, under Achievements, what do you mean by 'inspired by actual events'?"

Lying on your CV

'This is the worst resume I've ever seen!'

'The good news is that I'm prepared to offer you a six figure annual salary. The bad news is that it includes the decimal.'

"...I think you might be great for our management position."

'Define living wage...'

'About this cv of yours...' - 'You can skip over the part about the potty training.'

"Interviews are always stressful...this is his fourteenth....and they all turned him down!"

'I'm looking over your resum?, there is one opening we have for you.'

"Hire me! Right now! Before the lightening pace of technology renders me obsolete!"

"Now tell me, what do you think you would bring to our company?"

'You say in your resume that you pay meticulous attention to detail...'

"Yes, I do have a lot of management experience, but I won't be able to manage on the kind of salary you're offering!"