Job Hunting Aficionado T-Shirts

"This is a wonderful CV Mrs. Wilson!"

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

The Three Wise Queens

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

'I received matching offers.'

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'What went particularly well?'