Job Fair Fanatics Gifts

"Interviews are always stressful...this is his fourteenth....and they all turned him down!"

The Three Wise Queens

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Resume Dumpers

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'How would you like to trade in our pork bellies pit?'

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'What went particularly well?'

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

Career counselor: 'If you want a great job, that won't be exported, get into politics.'

"It's a query from one of the applicants for the copywriters job asking 'wat was rong wiv his applicashun'?"

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"A charming risk taker, who's not afraid to get bit. Boy, do I have an opportunity for you."

Early career fair

Job Fair: Programmers, Web Designers, Hackers.

"I really enjoyed reading your CV, professor. However, we can't hire you, because you suffer from defective media image."

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

"I like my job. It keeps me alive."

'This is the worst resume I've ever seen!'

"Hire me! Right now! Before the lightening pace of technology renders me obsolete!"

"Yes, I do have a lot of management experience, but I won't be able to manage on the kind of salary you're offering!"

"Now tell me, what do you think you would bring to our company?"

'The good news is that I'm prepared to offer you a six figure annual salary. The bad news is that it includes the decimal.'

'Define living wage...'

Resumes

'What have you been saying to him? He wants to be a careers master.'

Bob was apprehensive about his new job, but excited about the new directions it coudl take him in...

'You say in your resume that you pay meticulous attention to detail...'

"This is Jim the Jolly council manager and LOOk it's Caring Clara who likes to work for minimum wage..."