Job Application Juggler Gifts

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

'You'll be hearing from us! Hello?'

"Boy, you really know how to mess up a guy's resume."

Working on my resume.

"Of course you're not a failure, Norman! They probably had hundreds of applications for the company fall guy position."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Can do...No can do

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Commutobile

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

Deadline

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Jason and the Aga notes,

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'