Jigsaw Aficionado Gifts

"Hmm. I still feel like something's missing."

'I'm just not sure he fits in.'

"You've been very patient, Mr. Robertson, but we're about finished, and you'll be on your way in a moment."

"Forget the Great American Novel, this puzzle is now my life's work."

Rest in Piece

"Man...I just finished this jigsaw puzzle in four hours and it said three to six years on the box!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Body Systems

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

"Cool, jigsaw box!"

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We don't know what this is called'

Screw plastic surgeon.

Pollsters

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

Free love

'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'

I wish you'd come to me sooner.

'Let's see now...'

You Are Here

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"Try to fit in, Dear."

'Sounds like another sat nav mistake, you had better put the kettle on dear!'

'Don't disturb your father for an hour he's busy doing the Five minute crossword.'

'Very funny!'

"Can anyone tell me if I'm eating from endocrine system or the nervous system? I always get those two mixed up."