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"We'd give you a hand but they never leave our sides."

Christmas jig

Religiously, Saturday Mornings, Professor O'Malley and Doctor O'Brien run through their repertoire of jigs and hornpipes.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

The Hammer

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

...they can't take the factory out of the man - he's off to do some welding.

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

'It's an old work injury.'

'Obviously the natives here are sophisticated tool makers.'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

"Try to fit in, Dear."