Jazzercise Junkie T-Shirts

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Overjumpers

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Running

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Swing dancers.

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Jogging...

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Treadmillstone

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

Health

'Will I still be married?'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

Apocalliptical

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

Teddy jogging

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

Around the piano

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

Have Horns Venn