Joy Junkie T-Shirts

Big Grin.

World Tour.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Mail's here."

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

Upholding the Law

"Let's take in a trial."

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"I plead guilty, Your Honor, but only in a nice, white-collar sort of way."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

"Let's park on the other side, just to be on the safe side."

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."