Jargon Dodger T-Shirts

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

'I find the easiest way to expand my vocabulary is to make up words.'

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

'Look, I'm a goat, not an elephant. I really don't want to debate politics during the game...'

Sports vocabulary

"I hope you like sports metaphors."

"Must be question time again."

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

'...and now to continue our exciting coverage of the election debate.'

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

'How did your bowling go?. . . I didn't realize you eyesight was so bad.'

Still going in circles. 'Told you so.'

Cone of Silence

"I can't wait that long."

Why men hate to stop and ask for directions.

Traffic Court. To be fair, he did pay his ticket.

Ring. If that me calling, I'm obviously not here.

'Right so we're agreed then, no one ever reads these reports so there's no point writing them anymore...and while we're at it we can stop filling out these forms, they're a waste of time.'

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"I don't want to get into a hypothetical debate about the nature of reality while I'm watching 'Bargain Hunt'. . ."

Businesspeople gather in bedroom setting 'They can't regulate us in here.'

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

Glass who didn't want to get involved in the argument.

'It appears the best way to be politically correct is to be apolitical.'

"Tell me about online banking again. I'm not good at technology, but it's got to be less stressful than this."

"I'm looking for something that will keep people away from me on the subway."