Jar-opening Enthusiast T-Shirts

"This is Russell. Russell opens all my jars."

"How’s your arthritis? All your tools are for opening jars."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Pet Entertainers

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Boy whistling at crackers.

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

"Tip my boy."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

Traffic Jam

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

A parrot business meeting

"With company-wide layoffs imminent I realized it was a matter of self-preservation."

"You're right - organs do look more festive in these cute mason jars."

Polly want a cracker?

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

A European Nightjar in the form of a Jar

'Polly had a cracker.'

Oil Workers

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

'He's a lousy CEO, but you should see him open a walnut.'

Mouse Cracker

A dog unable to open a can of dog food, holding a user's manual.

Christmas jig

Safety: 'When Can I Work On My Own?'

Gordon Ramsay's Own Brand

"Things have been tough. Carol is going through the change."

"I'm drinking far too much. Last Saturday night I overindulged and left a 500 dollar tip."

Parrot to owner: 'The cracker is fine, but will it satisfy my emotional needs?'

"No, no, no! We never start playing with an empty jar!"