January Gifts

Pay up.

"Yes, that's another sign that Lake Superior is having a warmer-than-usual January."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Come dine with me!

"Good game."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

2021

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Football Fans

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.