Jailbird's Wishful Thinking Gifts

'Personally, I'd prefer to call my locksmith instead of my lawyer.'

"White Collar Prison"

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

Exhibition for Prisoners

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

Love in prison.

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"I believe thr guv'nor used to own a boarding house in Blackpool."

'So what's your recommendation? I suggest a tunnel.'

'There. Now you have the job security you've always wanted.'

"It's no good you hiding, Whacker. Your release date's today and that's final!"

Con Artist.

'Don't tell me-you're the famous Grimaldi acrobatic troupe, right?'