J.r.r. Tolkien Fan Pillows

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

Variety. Wow! "Lord of the Rings" has done very well at the box office. It's made some people rich. They're elf-made millionaires.

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Turtle Trailer Court

Jimi Hendrix.

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

"Which one is yours?"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'I think we have some stowaways.'

Lord of the Rings IV.

A were-cow.

"It's a full moon somewhere."

They came...they saw...they conga'd.

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

'So much for the great UNKNOWN campground.'

Chickenspox

Projecting Obama

The exciting new M-2000 Winnebagel / A Winnebago in the form of a Bagel.

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

Edgar Allen Prozac

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

The Landlord Of The Rings

"Ok, it got weird while you were a wolf."

Mick Jagger at 95.

Why Centrist Democrats Can't Get to Bernie Sanders

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'You just lost points for so easily getting that Geeky 'Star Trek' reference.'

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Edgar Allan Poe

"What starts with a full moon, ends with a full moon.