Ivory Dealer Prints

The interview seemed to be going well until Gordon's sixth sense kicked in.

Larry's used art

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think he was a celebrity."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Concert Pianist.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Misunderstood artist

Piano Recital

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

Sale.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Jerry Lordan

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Customer Convention

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Today, the dollar gained against the euro, pound, yen, yuan, the Picasso, Degas, and the Warhol.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"It's called 'Sold'."

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop