Itch Investigator T-Shirts

"I'm not a snowflake Martha, I'm just having an eczema flare up."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)