Infection Investigator T-Shirts

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Frontline health workers

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"