Italian Feast Lover Gifts

"Pizza for one - and your extra large is on the way."

Tartine

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Under pressure.

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

Pasta

Panettone

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Church Basement Foodie

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

'Your pizza will be out in a few minutes. Tony's looking for a ladder to get it off the ceiling.'

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

Spaghetti Road

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

'I WARNED you we had the largest slice in town!'

'The town where they make Parmesan cheese is very well to do. In fact, I hear it's a grated community.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

'I have a thing about Italian food-my wife has a thing about Italian waiters !'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

The art of pizza

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

"Does this look familiar to you, Mr. Funderburg?"

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

."Negroni, Spaghettio."