It Whiz With Comedy Flair T-Shirts

"You the fellow who ordered computer parts in bulk?"

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'Of course you're all for animal testing. You always get straight A's.'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Johann Strauss

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

"I love hearing that lonesome wail of the train whistle as the magnitude of the frequency of the wave changes due to the doppler effect."

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"Those were the toughest tryouts I've ever had. Everyone has shown great improvement, but I only have one slot open. Congratulations, Gracie! You're the newest member of our academic decathlon team!"

"Hardscrabble"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

'He was offered a role in a sitcom and has the potential to be a successful child actor. We've already set up a legal defense fund.'

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

"What if I'm actually gifted, and first grade just didn't challenge me enough? Maybe I should just skip second grade altogether and go directly to grade four."

'She wasn't hoydening when she chuffed arrack.'

"I can't go"

Maltese cross.

I'm the computer expert you advertised for.