It Whiz With Comedy Flair T-Shirts

"You the fellow who ordered computer parts in bulk?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

This is Twig's scene. Get ready! That's her! Where? There! Too late. Nice shot of Jessie Caldwell. Wasn't she fabulous.

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

"I love hearing that lonesome wail of the train whistle as the magnitude of the frequency of the wave changes due to the doppler effect."

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

Johann Strauss

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'Of course you're all for animal testing. You always get straight A's.'

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"Hardscrabble"

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

'He was offered a role in a sitcom and has the potential to be a successful child actor. We've already set up a legal defense fund.'

"Those were the toughest tryouts I've ever had. Everyone has shown great improvement, but I only have one slot open. Congratulations, Gracie! You're the newest member of our academic decathlon team!"

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

The future Bill Gates about to be conceived.

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'She wasn't hoydening when she chuffed arrack.'

Sean Connery

"What if I'm actually gifted, and first grade just didn't challenge me enough? Maybe I should just skip second grade altogether and go directly to grade four."

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

"I can't go"

Maltese cross.