It Department Gifts

'We need someone in here, like now.'

'Boss, there's a computer on the line. It want's to know what to do with a stupid user who doesn't work!'

"I'd eat him, but do you know how hard it is to find a good tech guy?"

"Well, going by the melted screen and the sufurous fumes I'd say you've been trying to download stuff off the Devil's website again."

"I actually turned on a my computer all by myself!"

"Well if you people can't fix my computer virus, maybe you can tell me what the heck the Center For Disease Control is doing with my tax dollars!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Computer Room.

The Computer Bore

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

I.T. Fear

Obsession with the Internet.

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Computer monitor for a head.

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

Big Data Tonight

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Hardware and software

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."