Island Investment Innovator Gifts

"My advice is buy flotsam and jetsam futures."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

Art of Surviving

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

"Usually when a person is stranded on an island, they make a grass hut. Apparently, you're more resourceful than that."

Castaway harnessing electricity.

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

'Well, when can I have my bike back?'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

Hell on trio island

'I've decided to follow my Grandson's advice and get out of stocks and into baseball cards.'

"I wish we hadn't voted for this now"

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

An astronaut sees a desert island in space.

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

"Mr. Jones, I'm taking you out of stocks and into kickstarter."

'It's not a great start to his cartooning career...he's got creative block about what to call himself.'

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

"Are you playing footsie with me?"

'His head teems with new ideas.'

Castaway uses a PC instead of a bottle.

Never understood the 'buy low, sell high' theory.

Starfish enterprise.

'He's one of the genuine food critics left...he still fills his pen with Spanish squid ink.'

"What happened to that lemonade stand of yours?"

'It's nothing personal, we just like to secure our intellectual property, each evening.'

'You're a genius Carlisle.'

Tax shelters of the rich and famous

"I really like to push the envelope. I've even been known to do quintuple-entry bookkeeping!"