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'Well, well. You made thirteen hundred dollars more last year than you did the year before -- you people never learn, do you?'

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

'Don't mind me. The last place I worked was a real sweatshop.'

'I've been through your tax return and for the minute there's nothing to worry about.'

'Why aren't you guys profiling minorities like other las enforcement agencies?'

"I have nothing to hide."

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'Paperwork just lacked that personal touch, don't you agree?'

'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"The tip jar is not for me. It's for the U.S. Budget Deficit."

'It doesn't say anything about gift tax, son. It just says the Magi came bearing gifts.'

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

'I'm with the I.R.S. you had better report this as income.'

Best friends: death and taxes.

"Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax. Not having to pay it."

IRS, 'You want a refund, do you? All right †be that way!'

'Nightmare on Form Street.'

Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.

Taxman takes money from Man doing up a house

"Fortunately, we have an excellent pay-as-you-go plan of just 2,359 easy payments."

We try to be helpful, you can bring in the rest tomorrow.'

'You say you've got plenty of nothing? Well, we think plenty of ANYTHING is worth taxing!'

"I'm a working dog, and the IRS never lets me forget it."

"Remember how sure you were nobody would notice how much you'd fudged on your deductions?"