Irritation Eliminator Pillows

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Mind-Fullness

Nervous Oral Testing

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

Net Zero Superstitions

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Skin Deep. Hey, that's my dermatologist! He must be doing pretty well! One man's rash is another man's pleasure!

'This list of excuses, for not having your homework, looks surprisingly like a list of reasons for not being successful when you get a job.'

Noise machines for dogs.

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

"Next time, don't let your anxieties build up ... "

The Environmental Protection Agency cranks it up a notch.

"Zero emissions - I'm in EPA heaven."

I brought a little ice breaker.'

Woman approaches a clock with a tick and flea killer.

One man and his dog odour spray.

"Whew ... now he needs some roll-on deodorant."

"We're reducing GHG emissions on the rance by switching to ll electric cows."

Teacher in front of freaked out class: 'And to let you know how irritating homework excuses are, we'll start each day with fingernails on the chalkboard.'

Ninja Fly Swatter

'Way to screw up again, pencil. Well here I come to save the day.'

Smokers not putting their cigarette butts in the bin person so frustrated he puts the smoker in the bin

Smell No Evil

'Take that thing outside. As if we don't stink enough.'

"I'm just trying to get through the rest of my life without buying another umbrella."

"Hold it, I wonder if I might try the Warfarin again?"

Skunk Scent Killer

I suppose I should lose weight. It's simple, mom. Diet and exercise. This just in. Here. This lists the calories different activities use up in an hour. "Making excuses for why I'm not exercising" is not a listed activity.

Stopping the Cuckoo Clock.

'How did you know I have a foot fetish?'