Ironically Adaptable T-Shirts

I resist all change, except for TV channels, of course!

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

Al, The Go-From Guy

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'Not everyone is able to cope with change.'

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

Fitness Centre: Out for a Run Back in 3 Hours

"You know Mike, you're so boring, you're interesting!"

"You're in New York City now. You gotta lose the southern hospitality if you truly want to fit in."

'Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get there in time for the net olympics.'

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

Humpty Dumpty Gets in a Taxi.

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

'Gloria, I want you to meet my significant other.'

"I'm afraid you've got subsidence."

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now, are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

Hell's Kitties

If we lost all electrical power like India did...

I've gone one better!

Some exercise program - he power walks to snack machine!

Native weight watchers.

'I was caught jogging past an Olympics sponsor's fat and sugar outlet.'

At the agrophobic self help group's annual picnic.

"I'll take a salad, add bacon bits, extra cheese, dressing, and powdered sugar, not lettuce."

Jim's Gym.

Man with broken leg in car.

'Oh I'm a team player alright: I am an expert at blending in...'

Superficial library.

"It started with cutting letters out of magazines for ransom notes, now he's really into scrapbooking."

"Dress is casual here. We don't pay our workers enough to buy suits."

"Relative obscurity 5 mi"

Absentmindedness Is Us: Home of that little thingumajig whose name you can never remember.

"And this is the nurse Jenkins who will be advising you on diet and exercise."

Blindfolded circus act is blind (colour)