Ironical Indulgence Seeker Pillows

'He's conscientious about most of his religious duties, but he's slow to fast.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Make your resolutions achievable.

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

Chocs away.

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

A giant glass of red wine

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

It's not an addiction if you only do it once a year!

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

"Wine not?"

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

Greedy child

Robert Morley

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

"It's my day off."

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

A triathlon for the lazy and unfit.