Ironic Indulgence Pillows

"You can have the cherry - I'm on a diet."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Chocs away.

A giant glass of red wine

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

'Please take this away from me.'

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

"Wine not?"

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

"It's my day off."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

The Food of Shame.

Fine candies: Healthy eating is our no. '6' concern.

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"Yippee. . . no more dieting!"

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

"Do you have a strain that pairs well with Chunky Monkey?"

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"