Ironical Educational Choices Pillows

'Stop moaning Simon, we picked you the best school in the area.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"Surprise!"

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'But Father, I don't want to study space time temporal theories in relation to collapsing pulsars, I want to do my own thing!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"Shows you how much I know."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

'Bash Street Acadamy - Logistical Director. '

"Listen Smith, I don't care if the older boys are picking on you or not, you have to come into school - you're the deputy head for goodness sake!"

"An A-plus in plagiarism! I am so proud of you darling!"

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

'The degrees? They're phony! I just like to show off what I made in the framing course I took.'

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

"Lot 541, the last A Level Art History Syllabus, frame and dated, what do I hear bid. . .?"

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'I went to a real tough high school -- Our Junior Businessman club used to knock over liquor stores.'

"Sorry, this is NOT a school, it is a university: we have an entrance exam..."

A Law student sees a class entitled Celebrity Law 101

'Professor, Professor, the slaves are, I mean, the PhD students are revolting!'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

'She's suspendered from her previous school.'

"They go to a private school."

My child is an honor student at Glasslicker Elementary School.

"You're a persistent truant! Have you no ambition?"