Ironic Warriors Gifts

"I would be an animal-rights activist, but I have allergies."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

Hockey Season.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

Gas Bill

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Mr Muscles competition

SOPA supporters regroup.

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

Meta data retention.

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

'Insomnia, eh? -- Drink a glass of warm milk and watch some C-Span.'

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"Look at you—folding the laundry two days before couples therapy."

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"