Ironic Taste Tester Gifts

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Bad for you but to die for

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Cereal Tasting.

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

Dijon Vu

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

'You look bored, sir - How about the Chef's Surprise?'