Taste Tester Extraordinaire Gifts

'I'm picking up unsubtle hints of coffee.'

Cereal Tasting.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"In a multiple choice exam if in doubt always go for D, because that's about what grade you'll end up with!"

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

Dijon Vu

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'