Ironic Soda Lover T-Shirts

"We won!"

The Alpha Seltzer

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

"Physician heal thyself."

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

Energy Drinks

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

'Too bad... so much ice but not a single glass of lemonade!'

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

'Hey man that's a gas!'

"In this plant we bottle soft drinks, Tim, not our emotions."

A man ice fishing through a hole in the ice opened using a soda can pull tab.

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

Therapists to watch out for: 'How long have you had this unnatural fear of wolves?'

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

'Don't look now, Kellmyer, But your pants are in material breach.'

Cola Observatory

"My dad doesn't give me enough credit. He thinks if I watch TV all day long the commercials will influence everything I do."

'I don't like to carry ID.'

Four Weddings and a Funeral and a Bag of Popcorn and a Coke

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'I'd like to exchange these cola can tokens for a book on hyperactivity.'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'Light refreshments now being served'