Ironic Retail Therapist Gifts

"Wow, what a fantastic shopping centre. I'll grab some smokes, you have a pedicure, pick a new outfit, then we'll eat a kebab whilst we have the car washed."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'She's so put together!'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Do you do much walking?"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Everything's gone up."