Ironic Recluse Gifts

"He's laid up with a bad case of inertia."

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"So ... taking that nap during my performance review was a very bad idea."

Waking the Dead.

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

An unadulterated look into the life of a brown recluse.

"Anyone home?"

Person is hiding behind book entitled 'Coping with shyness'.

Young Che Guevara contemplates a career in t-shirt design.

"These tapes of nature are absolutely amazing. You really feel like you're in the forest."

'After considering the pros and cons of commuting, I've decided the only sane thing to do is live in my office.'

"I'm going to have to cut your walk short today."

Diet now...ask me how. 'I spent $600 at the fat farm and haven't lost a single kilo, apparently you're supposed to show up...'

"She's been looking forward to this for years - she even took dancing lessons!"

Kissing Under The Misanthrope

'Society of hermits'

'He's conscientious about most of his religious duties, but he's slow to fast.'

"Its getting so bad that I never leave home anymore."

"He lives in a little world of his own."

The hermit has relocated...

'You'll have to excuse Gerald. He's not so much the party animal these days.'

No one knows why Jesus stopped going to frat parties: 'What are we going to do with all this water?'

'You're not really into this 'looking for a job' thing, are you?'

'There's never anything to eat!'

"I DID give up drink for my New Year's resolution but I reckon it doesn't count as I was drunk when I made it."