Ironic Meme Fans Pillows

Dead Selfie

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Winter Weather.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

'for more obit info, go to...'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'