Ironic Health Nut Gifts

Flu Shots

'Got anything more exciting?' - 'Yes, under the counter we have hamburger and chips, beer and chocolate cake.'

"I'm on a health kick at the moment - let's walk around it a few times before we eat."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

How about going easy on the carbs

Advocado

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"OK, ready to go again?"

At the market

Yoga vs. Prosecco

All Natural Nothing

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Steamed vegetables."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

Exercise now!

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"