Ironic Guru Pillows

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

Meet The Ghostwriter

"Shows you how much I know."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

'Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.'

Talking Books: 'Push button to hear what critics say about...'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

"I eat green but I don't vote green."

"It was all that running around town buying diet books that achieved my weight loss."

An ironic epiphany: "Wow, right, AS IF!"

The Dungeon