Ironic Golfer Pillows

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Too many beers at lunch?

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'