Ironic Athlete Pillows

'I couldn't break 100, so I bought new clubs and took lessons and now I can't break 120!'

2 out of 3 people who buy running shoes don't run in them.

'On your mark...'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

The Victors

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

Keep Fit.

'Are we having fun yet?'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'Go deep.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

Interpretive marathon

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

Golfer turned Javelin thrower

"I get lot's of exercise, computer football, computer cricket and computer rugby."

'Maybe the idea of a computer tech school football team wasn't such a good idea.'

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

The Paula Ratcliffe: 'Think I might do the London Marathon next year.'

I can't believe it - I've made it again!!!

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'I'm sorry, we can't declare you the winner. You have high blood pressure.'

Sports for slipper wearers.

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

Running Shoes: 'They should be back soon.'

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'