Ironic Gift Aficionado Gifts

"Thank you, Darling...."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"Pencil eraser."

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Captionless: A fisherman is handed his bobbin and fishing hook by a octopus

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

I love you Geyser...

"I can't afford to feed you."

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

"I'm lost. Also, I accidentally unplugged something."

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

So what else did you get for your birthday?

Giant sandwich bags.

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

A pianist uses a frog as a page turner.

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Fast Food Menus

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

The AdRams Family no.29 - New Pentium Cow Processor

Chilli Quartet

Tunnel of Dove.

"Violets are blue Roses are red Enjoy the dead mouse I hid in your bed"

Interrupted Shower.

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

"Hey look! It perfectly matches the virtual pot plant I gave you last year!"

Great Moments in Beer

Girl who has been bought an oversized chatelaine large household items hanging from it