Ironic Gardeners T-Shirts

"Oh dear, look at these - I kill everything I touch."

Sawing Down Tree

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

Pyramid Garden

'Sewer farm - 100% organic'

For the new gardener.

Watering a plant in the rain.

Devil watering tails.

Solar powered sundial

Skyscrapers.

Shoveling Snow in Spring

"Square tomatoes. Blue pumpkins? Inside-out corn."

"Sod climbing it - I'm gonna smoke it...!"

"Now, that's how you know you're in the garden of bird lovers: They've installed a Spa, not just a bird-bath..."

Clown watering houseplant.

Easter egg tree.

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

"I'm afraid you've got subsidence."

'You've never planted potatoes before, have you?'

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

'That's my idea patch.'

"When the leaves fall, they land in the cans. It sure saves a lot of raking!"

'A few over here, please.'

Football Fan