Ironic Food Enthusiast T-Shirts

Strict Diet,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Lockdown casserole

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Free Range Chickens

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Murderous Chef

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

'They're not hot - my mom said they were 'chilly peppers'?'

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"May your year be pear-fect."

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

Be aware of what your food is up to: protect yourself against snack attacks.

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

Suicidal Sheep: '101 Ways with Mint Sauce.'

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'Of course this is the freshest free range steak, sir! You can even see the tyre tracks on it!'

"Every night it's Roll Play with you."

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'