Ironic Dinner Host Pillows

"We would LOVE to have you for dinner!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"My bouche was not amused."

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

Wegovy diet drug

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

'Mix 1lb of greed with 2oz of corruption, fold in a sprinkle of ignorance then put on the shelf...'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

'The bizarre etiquette of entertaining: the smaller the group the worse the food.'

'We had that last night.'

Sunday Roast.

"Sorry, Damocles - at out dinner parties we always sit boy, girl, boy, girl."

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"