Ironic Bible Enthusiast Pillows

'He only reads it for the begats and violence.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

Noah's ark, many lions

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Moses as a child.

The First Printed Bible

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Have your people call my people."