Iron Thigh Appreciator Gifts

"Your thighs are like iron."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Old-fashioned computer

'It's a hybrid.'

"Take me to your thigh master"

Librarian.

'Do you think he knows we're carrying beef sandwiches?'

Have you installed the heater?

Look...a friendly face.

Quarantine: The great equalizer

At the Flip-Flop Quality Control Center.

"That dead thing in the corner looks good."

Third place sabotaging first place on medal stand.

'They sometimes mistake him for a statue.'

Golda Meir.

'So sorry, I thought you were an Anthony Gormley.'

'This is the last time I go golfing with a lumberjack.'

'Yes it is lonely at the top, now get out of my office!'

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

Aptitude tests point to a job in the wine industry for a young man with huge feet.

No Food or Drink Allowed in Shop

"Driving in New York city scares the hell out of me."

'There's a fly in my soup.' - 'And a maggot in my steak tartare.'

Bird house envy.

'Try using this.'

"Oh yeah, like you're a four-star fork."

"I suppose politics would be interesting, but I wouldn't want to go on the rubber chicken circuit."

'Do you mind?'

"Don't you know who I am?! I demand an upgrade! I'm a platinum-plus frequent fly..."

Maternity/Eternity

"You'd think the day would go by faster when you're getting time-and-a-half."